- 00:00
- As followers, we tell ourselves all kinds of stories.
- 00:03
- Maybe the leaders do too, but I know the followers do.
- 00:07
- And one of the things we tell ourselves is that the leaders hold us
- 00:11
- and then they move us,
- 00:13
- and that's not really what happens.
- 00:17
- So what does happen?
- 00:19
- What happens is that we hold each other, and
- 00:24
- my holding him is exactly as important as his holding
- 00:28
- me, and there are ways that we can test that.
- 00:30
- So as an example, if
- 00:34
- she was not holding on with this left arm at all-
- 00:36
- If she were
- 00:36
- ... if she were not holding on with this left arm at all, you get a grammar lesson,
- 00:39
- too.
- 00:41
- Then right here you can say, "Well, can we lead, follow?
- 00:44
- Can we dance comfortably?" And I think most people, the answer to this question
- 00:48
- would be yes. But then we can reverse it and say, well, her
- 00:52
- left arm should be just as important as my right arm.
- 00:54
- So what if he let go and now it's her left arm?
- 00:58
- And this is actually, for most people, remarkably harder.
- 01:02
- Well, it isn't for me, but one of the things we need to be, as followers, we need
- 01:05
- to be willing to do in that exercise is hold as
- 01:09
- however tight we need to in order to make a connection between our bodies
- 01:13
- work.
- 01:14
- So in slow motion,
- 01:17
- and let's do more of a close-up for this.
- 01:20
- For the followers, first of all, it's going to be much more
- 01:25
- pressure than you expect. That when I'm here, if I move
- 01:28
- towards her in super slow motion,
- 01:32
- she needs to be able to get a sense of stopping me just a little,
- 01:36
- find the connection through her body, and then use that to
- 01:39
- move. And at the beginning, you will feel like, wow, this is much too much
- 01:43
- effort, much too much muscle. It can't be right.
- 01:46
- It can be.
- 01:47
- Yeah. For learning the skill, it's right.
- 01:49
- And then once you get the skill, in time, you can do it faster and softer.
- 01:52
- That's right.
- 01:53
- So when the leader does this-
- 01:55
- But by the way, it's a long road
- 01:57
- ... when the leader does this, he'll say, "Well, I have to push through my arm
- 02:01
- without letting my arm yield." Now the pressure goes through your arm without your
- 02:05
- arm yielding. Try that. And not just that with the left arm,
- 02:09
- but with the other arm, too. With your right arm, you can
- 02:13
- push in gently towards him. So if you just watch this arm, if you do
- 02:17
- nothing, Mom.
- 02:18
- Do nothing?
- 02:18
- Yeah, just to be a statue.
- 02:21
- Oh, okay.
- 02:22
- So if I'm here
- 02:24
- grabbing this hand,
- 02:26
- I just pressed in.
- 02:28
- But-
- 02:29
- You said be a statue
- 02:30
- ...
- 02:31
- But you're actively
- 02:33
- pushing out just a little to match rather than being completely a
- 02:37
- rock.
- 02:37
- Okay. I'm too literal. Okay.
- 02:40
- So,
- 02:43
- you push in on me.
- 02:47
- And let go. Do that many times.
- 02:50
- So here she pushes in, the pressure goes through my body.
- 02:53
- Now next time, don't move.
- 02:56
- I said don't move.
- 02:58
- Don't move.
- 03:00
- Here I pushed her. You push me.
- 03:03
- There she pushed me. Stop. There I pushed her.
- 03:06
- Oh, this is a good exercise.
- 03:06
- So as a follower, when your hands come together very
- 03:10
- softly, I want you to have this exercise of sometimes
- 03:14
- he pushes towards your body gently,
- 03:17
- and then lets go, and sometimes you push towards his.
- 03:19
- Because we can say even this side, the same as the other side, both
- 03:23
- people can initiate.
Followers technique for Connection - Who owns the embrace
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